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An alternative to coyote bounty

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Recently it has been suggested that a bounty be placed on coyotes around here. I’ve heard it suggested that, as well as protecting deer (an endangered species, for sure), it would amuse the children of tourists and expose them to the proud tradition of the Huntsman.
I humbly offer a solution. Instead of squandering 90¢ a shot on .243 Winchester ammo (the preferred load for blowing away coyotes), the bounty should be applied instead to starlings (the greater nuisance, I’m sure all would agree). The savings on ammunition is considerable.
That money could be used to purchase hamburgers at Paul’s Quik Chek or Food City soda pop, injecting much-needed revenue into the economy. Your .22 ratshot, sufficient to terminate all but the stoutest of starlings, runs a mere 18¢ per load.
For those wishing to teach young hunt clubbers the thrill of a bigger bang, .410 #9 loads will not only satisfy their need for noise, but also offer a satisfying burst of feathers upon a good shot. Your .410 shells run about 42¢ a pop, more than ratshot, but still an affordable bonding experience for father/son teams on starling safari.
In addition, the kill per hour ratio on your typical starling hunt should far exceed that of a coyote stalk. All the hunters need do is set up near a stand of pine and let fly. Lord knows we have plenty of pines around here.
Starling hunting requires no baits, decoys, camo suits or blinds in the middle of nowhere. Anybody who’s watched the Hunting Channel knows that to successfully bring down a coyote, one must be equipped like a Force Recon Marine.
I recommend a bounty of 10¢ per bird, delivered to the courthouse in feed bags. It’s not as attractive as $40 a head, but with practice, I’m sure the volume of birds taken will compete favorably with coyote kills.
There you have it. Problem solved.
Now perhaps the Board of Supervisors can focus on the serious business of guiding us through the 21st century, like Wildwood or the Crooked Road. How’s that going, anyway?
Bruce Noble
Independence